That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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