even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
