...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
two words...techno handjob
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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