We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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