So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.