I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
