I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
