would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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