Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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