It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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