Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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