When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
