How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize