I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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