singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
