Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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