I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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