Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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