I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
