"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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