Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
