dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
