we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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