And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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