just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
