and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
time to smoke my breakfast
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Everclear isn't food dammit
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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