Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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