the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Dear god my vagina.
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