how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
