I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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