Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I fill condoms, not promises.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
