He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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