whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
