question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
