you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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