i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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