How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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