You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
