yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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