Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize