You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
