i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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