More tranny stories later!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
