Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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