everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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