Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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