i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
