So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We're too hungover to prance.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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