Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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