Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
