Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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