ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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