my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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