Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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