I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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