I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
