So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
