What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
