perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
