Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
