Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
